Two Kingdoms - a true story

One day when I was alone, the devil took me up to a high mountain and showed me a kingdom. It was a beautiful kingdom, a God-honoring kingdom. The kingdom I had was difficult and fractured. I did not bow down to the devil or accept the offer, but I did walk the streets and saw its beauty. Children played and fellowship was good.  But the door was locked and I was not given the key-- God was not in this kingdom. 

“This way,” I heard a gentle voice say.

I looked and saw a deep valley that was in my kingdom and was my path.  The path was deep and it was dark so no light seemed to reach me. The other kingdom called to me but I could not go to it. I cried out but all I heard were my echoes on the walls and I wept in the darkness alone.  

But I was not alone. The LORD was there and I again heard a gentle voice say, “This way.” It was still dark and deep and dangerous and suffering was great, but I was not alone.  A gentle hand took my shoulder and guided me left and right through the canyons that I could not see.

Finally, the walls receded slightly and some light shown down. The light was good but did not heal all my wounds and scars remain. As I climbed up again, my wife emerged from another canyon and we held each other.  Slowly, we came out of the valley, but a wilderness stretches before us still.

I looked back across the valley I had walked and saw the first kingdom was given to another and it was even more beautiful than before. God Himself had given it and it was marvelous to His eyes and to all that beheld it--even to me to whom it was forbidden.

 “Why all this, LORD?”

“Every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy.”

I looked ahead once again and saw in the distance a high mountain among the wilderness. A measure was taken and boundaries set. “This is part of your kingdom for now. Put my Name along it paths so they may know Me.” So the three of us went forth from the canyon and the fellowship with both is good.  Better than before, even better than a kingdom without them. With this comes a glimmer of hope.

Above the mountain, I see beautiful rays of light coming from the other side. I see the tips of spires that hint of a joyful, godly kingdom that will be given to us someday and our wounds will be healed. And the LORD will be there. One day. Maybe even one day soon. Thank you LORD. Thank you for always being with me.

"The Lord is good to those who wait for him,

             to the soul who seeks him."  Lamentations 3:25

Amen. Original written 2014

My Personal Testimony

This is not a story about a man. This is really a true story about a Merciful God who cares for this one man. This is a story about the LORD who planned His Mercy from the beginning.

The Lord placed me in a good home in Pennsylvania with a loving mother and 5 older siblings that watched out for me. My Father was abusive and my mother asked him to leave when I was 2 years old. He left, but the rest of my family had suffered much even though I was spared. My mother always made sure we went to small country church every Sunday to learn about our Creator and I came to respect God's Word, but the gospel was not specifically preached. The gospel was in many of the old hymns we sang and in the Word of God we read, I was just blind to it.

However, there have been four significant events in my life (so far) that God has used to draw me to Him and to let me know He is near. The first event to significantly impact my life took place when I was about 10 years old. My older brother Dale took my close sibling John and I on an adventure that lasted 70 days in the Northeastern woods. We backpacked from Pennsylvania to the northern border of Vermont along the Appalachian Trail. It challenged me completely and my mother would tell you I cried up every mountain. The experience also taught me to appreciate the beauty of creation. When I returned, I knew I did not want to live an ordinary life. And though I called myself a Christian, I was more interested in adventure and self-glorification that serving God.

So, after high school and working hard for a few years John and I left for Alaska seeking adventure. We traveled the world and looked for all that life had to offer. The second significant event that God allowed took place when I was 23 years old. One day while drinking and partying, a female friend asked me to take her home. A few weeks later, she approached me and told me she was pregnant. She told me should was pro-life and that she did not want to marry me all in one sentence. I was completely at a loss of what to do, so I agreed to both of those decisions.

I knew my life would be changed forever and all my dreams and plans were gone. The guilt and shame of bringing a child into this world out of wedlock weighed on me like a burden. Coming from a broken home, I knew that it would affect my daughter the rest of her life not matter how great a dad I was. How could I protect and provide and do all the things a dad does from another household? I worked hard to provide and to be a good dad, but the burden never left—it was never good enough. It would never right the wrong.

When my daughter Katey was three, my brother John and his wife Kathy took me to church at Covenant Fellowship in Philadelphia. The gospel was preached unashamedly and I did not know what to think. A few weeks later, John called me up and said he had given his life to the Lord. Kathy had done so months earlier. The third and most life-changing event took place soon after that. Over the next 8 months, my brother sent me books, told me about the Lord and prayed for me. The Lord daily and patiently revealed Himself to me.

Eventually, I knew and could not deny that the gospel is true—namely, God IS real, the Bible is truly God’s perfect Word, that Jesus Christ is God (Phil 2:5, John 1:1), that Jesus had paid the penalty for my sins (Romans 3:21-26) and that I am FREE from guilt and condemnation (Romans 8:1). Wow! The reality of it shook me at my core. But I had a fear. I was living in a world where every belief under the sun was accepted BUT Christianity. If I submitted to Him, I may lose all my friends and would have to tell my live-in girlfriend at the time that we could no longer sleep together. I struggled with all this for a week.

Finally, all alone in Alaska, in a little apartment at an empty resort 2 miles from my nearest neighbor, I got on my knees and prayed, “Lord, I am unworthy of your love and mercy—why would you forgive me?” It was October 16, 1995.

Suddenly, in a vision, all of Creation passed before me: animals, plants, mountains, volcanoes—beautiful places I had been and all the earth; planets and stars, galaxies and supernova, angels and demons and Satan himself. “All of these I created and all of it together does not compare to Me,” God seemed to be saying. He is my Creator, He knew everything about me and is perfectly Holy.

Let me be clear: I have had banditos pointed guns at me, I’ve been charged by bears, and I have faced many fears. But I tell you, there is nothing more terrifying than to be a sinner in the Presence of the Holy God. God had every right to kill me, disintegrate me, or even condemn me to eternal damnation and I had absolutely no response. I was a self-glorifying lawbreaker. I physically and violently trembled on my hands and knees awaiting the verdict. But do you what He said next? Three words. In an audible voice I heard him say, “I forgive you.” HE FORGAVE ME. Because he poured out His punishment and wrath that I earned onto His Son Jesus, I am free from condemnation and judgment. The great and heavy burden of guilt that I had carried like a weight for over three years was instantly gone.

The LORD had pursued me-- I did not seek Him. Like the Father of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), He ran out to me and brought me home and rejoiced over me. He sent His Son to die for me. This is His Story, not mine. He cared for me, protected me and taught me His ways. He sent me out to serve Him.

At Denali National Park, Alaska, I was the only Christian I knew. Within a week of my first public confession, a close friend and co-worker who was back in Indiana called and said, “I heard you are a Christian now.” People I had had deep philosophical discussions with about the meaning of life just months earlier treated me as if I was suddenly naïve and blind. I did end up losing all my friends and I did tell my girlfriend we could not sleep together. She did make a confession of faith soon after that in an effort to save our relationship, but did not like being an outsider and soon we broke up. Within 3 weeks, she was dating her future husband and was married within a year. She did however, continue to go to church.

The fourth significant even that the Lord had for me happened two years later. I was ready to leave Alaska but the Lord told me to wait one more season. So I did. I was lonely for fellowship even though I had joined a church 30 miles down the road. So I posted a note in the employee dining hall offering rides to church. I soon met Judy Rae and we were engaged by the end of the summer. She went back to Ohio and I stayed a few more weeks to finish the season. Back home, she went to visit a friend and the friend pulled out her prayer journal and said, “See, I started praying for you to find a husband two years ago.” She had started praying October 16, 1995—the exact same day I submitted my life to Him. God started answering that prayer the same day, even though no one knew for 2 years.

People say I am a nice guy and a good man. But I say to you, any good thing you see in me is not me, but Christ. You are seeing His Spirit in me. Part of me is still a self-glorifying lawbreaker. Look to Him.

God continues to bless and guide my life. My daughter is now an adult, graduated from NAU and is serving the LORD. I have served the Lord without regret since 1995 and I have been married for since 1998. I love and appreciate the wonder of all His creation more and more. I know the Word of God is true. I know Jesus is God and He died and rose again to save me. I know the Lord has a plan and purpose for my life. I could tell story after story of His love, grace and mercy. Every day, I talk to Him and He talks to me--- and it is a beautiful thing. Sometimes he tells me things I do not like, but it is always good. Now I am an “empty-nester” and like Caleb and Joshua (Joshua 14), I am ready for the next 40 years—ready to serve him in whatever humble way he wishes.

If you wish to know more, pray and ask Him. The Living God wants to have a relationship with you.

A Great Privilege

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.  Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. I Thess. 5:14-19

Today, we had the great privilege to serve our LORD humbly. Today, we were able to share the gospel and pray with someone diagnosed with cancer. We were also available to do some repairs to the home and bring encouragement and comfort. Our friend is frightened and worried about the cancer and the upcoming surgery. This person feared that God was punishing her for some sin she committed. She had many questions and misunderstandings of who actually is the true and Living God. Though she still does not know Jesus nor truly understand the full good news of the gospel, she found some comfort in our words and prayers. Please pray for our friend's salvation and her struggle with cancer. We hope to continue to minister to her this weekend as she goes for surgery.
Speak the gospel to yourself today, remind yourself of His great love and the amazing salvation that has been provided for you. And if you a given the opportunity, tell someone else as well. Amen.

“There is therefore now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

“By grace you have been saved through faith, not through works, it is the gift of God so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

The thought shocks me every time. God has saved my life from eternal damnation. He continues to save me everyday. I do not deserve it. I will never deserve it. I will never be beyond the need of it. I deserve punishment—eternal punishment, eternal hell. Every day. As I stumble back to my petty idols again and again, as I choose to spend my time with simple trinkets and mindless pastimes instead of spending my time getting to know the glorious, beautiful, holy God who WANTS to be with me through his Word and prayer that I am reminded of it.

Is it really surprising that unbelievers do not understand? Isn't it reasonable that even Christians want to water the glorious truth down to faith plus works? God's grace and mercy (the good news of the gospel) are so big, like the a blue giant star compared to the moon, that even as I write this I can only grasp glimpses of it in my mind. The moon is something our finite minds can comprehend, the size of Betelgeuse we cannot. God saves me because of his great love, grace, mercy, holiness, wisdom, righteousness, goodness and perfect plan—not because of a few feeble good works I may do or a few praises that I remember to say. For even those works are mixed with self-righteousness and attempts at self-glory. Not that He is not pleased with these things, for I believe He is.

The promises of a peaceful life from other religions and beliefs are dollar store trinkets compared to holiness, righteousness, goodness and the glory of God. We receive holiness, we receive truth, we receive goodness and righteousness, we will understand true justice and mercy and grace, we will know true love; we will be like Jesus—like God. Can gold or temporal contentment or even an earth without sin compare to these things?

Jesus, the Son of God, God Himself, came to earth as a helpless babe, lived the perfect life and willingly died on the cross while suffering the wrath and punishment of God His own Father. He arose from the dead overcoming death, sin and the curse. He will return again to bring us to be with Him and bring forth a new heaven and a new earth without the curse. We were hopeless in unrighteousness and sin, but God has made a way for us to be free by His own hand. Not because I am worth it, not because I can do anything, but because of His goodness. Amen.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory. 
- Ephesians 1:2-14

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

One of the main themes of Scripture is that the LORD God, Creator of all things, wants to be with His children. He created man as a special creature to glorify Him and enjoy Him and have fellowship with Him. We can see this from the very beginning. In Genesis, God places man in a garden in Eden, then comes to the garden to be with His children. The garden is like the tabernacle, a place where God is and where Adam and Eve can meet with Him. That is where man is given to live and work. Even after the Fall, when they are removed from the garden, the LORD shows a way to meet with Him through the sacrifice.

God tells us this throughout the Bible. When the Israelites are suffering under Egypt, He sends Moses so He can speak with them. He comes down on the mountain to meet with them and builds the tabernacle to go with them in the Wilderness. (Exodus 29:43-46).

Later, He has David and Solomon build the Temple for the same reason. (1 Kings 8:12)

Then Solomon said, “The Lord has said that he would dwell in thick darkness. I have indeed built you an exalted house, a place for you to dwell in forever.”

Over and over again, He meets and speaks with His people—high officials to lowly shepherds, innocent youth to wise elders, strong men and humble women.

Finally, God came in the flesh as a man, and dwelt among us, (pitched His tent with us), and taught us truth. He then took up the cross, suffered and died for us so that we have fellowship with Him. Even more so, He is coming that we may be with Him forever.

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” John 14:1-3

Come Lord Jesus!

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
-Jeremiah 17: 7-8

Living and working in the desert has helped me to have a deeper appreciation for certain Scripture. In the rainy season of winter, the desert landscape will come out of dormancy. Brush and trees will turn from a dead brown to green, produce blooms and then even produce fruit by spring if enough rains have come. Bare, rocky soil will fill with a carpet of grasses and wildflowers. When the rains are gone and the hot temperatures of summer come again, all the brush will become dull and brown and can appear dead. The grasses and annuals dry up and blow away.

Occasionally, however, you will find a tree or bush that is still a healthy green, even out of season, while everything around it for miles is dry. It may even bloom and produce fruit again. How can this be? It can only mean that this plant has access to life-giving water that none of the others has.

So it is with us who have been born again and are indwelt with His Spirit. We are fed by the Creator of life. How is it that a man can endure great trials? How can someone do right even with great temptation? Trust in the LORD. Reach down your roots to the true and living God and walk with Him always. Meet with him in prayer and hear His voice in Scripture. Look for him in the words of your spouse, the cry of a child, in the song of a bird and in the grace of an athlete. See Him in the trials and droughts. Then we can be green plants in a dry desert, bearing fruit to nurture to the needs of those who struggle to live in the wilderness.

“...when the appointed times of prayer were past, he found no difference, because he still continued with GOD,...” -Brother Lawrence The Practice of the Presence of God