My Personal Testimony

This is not a story about a man. This is really a true story about a Merciful God who cares for this one man. This is a story about the LORD who planned His Mercy from the beginning.

The Lord placed me in a good home in Pennsylvania with a loving mother and 5 older siblings that watched out for me. My Father was abusive and my mother asked him to leave when I was 2 years old. He left, but the rest of my family had suffered much even though I was spared. My mother always made sure we went to small country church every Sunday to learn about our Creator and I came to respect God's Word, but the gospel was not specifically preached. The gospel was in many of the old hymns we sang and in the Word of God we read, I was just blind to it.

However, there have been four significant events in my life (so far) that God has used to draw me to Him and to let me know He is near. The first event to significantly impact my life took place when I was about 10 years old. My older brother Dale took my close sibling John and I on an adventure that lasted 70 days in the Northeastern woods. We backpacked from Pennsylvania to the northern border of Vermont along the Appalachian Trail. It challenged me completely and my mother would tell you I cried up every mountain. The experience also taught me to appreciate the beauty of creation. When I returned, I knew I did not want to live an ordinary life. And though I called myself a Christian, I was more interested in adventure and self-glorification that serving God.

So, after high school and working hard for a few years John and I left for Alaska seeking adventure. We traveled the world and looked for all that life had to offer. The second significant event that God allowed took place when I was 23 years old. One day while drinking and partying, a female friend asked me to take her home. A few weeks later, she approached me and told me she was pregnant. She told me should was pro-life and that she did not want to marry me all in one sentence. I was completely at a loss of what to do, so I agreed to both of those decisions.

I knew my life would be changed forever and all my dreams and plans were gone. The guilt and shame of bringing a child into this world out of wedlock weighed on me like a burden. Coming from a broken home, I knew that it would affect my daughter the rest of her life not matter how great a dad I was. How could I protect and provide and do all the things a dad does from another household? I worked hard to provide and to be a good dad, but the burden never left—it was never good enough. It would never right the wrong.

When my daughter Katey was three, my brother John and his wife Kathy took me to church at Covenant Fellowship in Philadelphia. The gospel was preached unashamedly and I did not know what to think. A few weeks later, John called me up and said he had given his life to the Lord. Kathy had done so months earlier. The third and most life-changing event took place soon after that. Over the next 8 months, my brother sent me books, told me about the Lord and prayed for me. The Lord daily and patiently revealed Himself to me.

Eventually, I knew and could not deny that the gospel is true—namely, God IS real, the Bible is truly God’s perfect Word, that Jesus Christ is God (Phil 2:5, John 1:1), that Jesus had paid the penalty for my sins (Romans 3:21-26) and that I am FREE from guilt and condemnation (Romans 8:1). Wow! The reality of it shook me at my core. But I had a fear. I was living in a world where every belief under the sun was accepted BUT Christianity. If I submitted to Him, I may lose all my friends and would have to tell my live-in girlfriend at the time that we could no longer sleep together. I struggled with all this for a week.

Finally, all alone in Alaska, in a little apartment at an empty resort 2 miles from my nearest neighbor, I got on my knees and prayed, “Lord, I am unworthy of your love and mercy—why would you forgive me?” It was October 16, 1995.

Suddenly, in a vision, all of Creation passed before me: animals, plants, mountains, volcanoes—beautiful places I had been and all the earth; planets and stars, galaxies and supernova, angels and demons and Satan himself. “All of these I created and all of it together does not compare to Me,” God seemed to be saying. He is my Creator, He knew everything about me and is perfectly Holy.

Let me be clear: I have had banditos pointed guns at me, I’ve been charged by bears, and I have faced many fears. But I tell you, there is nothing more terrifying than to be a sinner in the Presence of the Holy God. God had every right to kill me, disintegrate me, or even condemn me to eternal damnation and I had absolutely no response. I was a self-glorifying lawbreaker. I physically and violently trembled on my hands and knees awaiting the verdict. But do you what He said next? Three words. In an audible voice I heard him say, “I forgive you.” HE FORGAVE ME. Because he poured out His punishment and wrath that I earned onto His Son Jesus, I am free from condemnation and judgment. The great and heavy burden of guilt that I had carried like a weight for over three years was instantly gone.

The LORD had pursued me-- I did not seek Him. Like the Father of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), He ran out to me and brought me home and rejoiced over me. He sent His Son to die for me. This is His Story, not mine. He cared for me, protected me and taught me His ways. He sent me out to serve Him.

At Denali National Park, Alaska, I was the only Christian I knew. Within a week of my first public confession, a close friend and co-worker who was back in Indiana called and said, “I heard you are a Christian now.” People I had had deep philosophical discussions with about the meaning of life just months earlier treated me as if I was suddenly naïve and blind. I did end up losing all my friends and I did tell my girlfriend we could not sleep together. She did make a confession of faith soon after that in an effort to save our relationship, but did not like being an outsider and soon we broke up. Within 3 weeks, she was dating her future husband and was married within a year. She did however, continue to go to church.

The fourth significant even that the Lord had for me happened two years later. I was ready to leave Alaska but the Lord told me to wait one more season. So I did. I was lonely for fellowship even though I had joined a church 30 miles down the road. So I posted a note in the employee dining hall offering rides to church. I soon met Judy Rae and we were engaged by the end of the summer. She went back to Ohio and I stayed a few more weeks to finish the season. Back home, she went to visit a friend and the friend pulled out her prayer journal and said, “See, I started praying for you to find a husband two years ago.” She had started praying October 16, 1995—the exact same day I submitted my life to Him. God started answering that prayer the same day, even though no one knew for 2 years.

People say I am a nice guy and a good man. But I say to you, any good thing you see in me is not me, but Christ. You are seeing His Spirit in me. Part of me is still a self-glorifying lawbreaker. Look to Him.

God continues to bless and guide my life. My daughter is now an adult, graduated from NAU and is serving the LORD. I have served the Lord without regret since 1995 and I have been married for since 1998. I love and appreciate the wonder of all His creation more and more. I know the Word of God is true. I know Jesus is God and He died and rose again to save me. I know the Lord has a plan and purpose for my life. I could tell story after story of His love, grace and mercy. Every day, I talk to Him and He talks to me--- and it is a beautiful thing. Sometimes he tells me things I do not like, but it is always good. Now I am an “empty-nester” and like Caleb and Joshua (Joshua 14), I am ready for the next 40 years—ready to serve him in whatever humble way he wishes.

If you wish to know more, pray and ask Him. The Living God wants to have a relationship with you.